


Miroctane One Shots

by skipndots



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Drug Use, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skipndots/pseuds/skipndots
Summary: A collection of Mirage/Octane centered fics, mostly based around their relationship in and outside of the Apex Games. I also reference headcanons about Octane's family and his friendship with Ajay Che. Some chapters are a bit more angsty than others, but enjoy!TW for some chapters// overdose, references to suicide, dysfunctional family, basic violence
Relationships: Mirage | Elliott Witt/Octane | Octavio Silva, Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Kudos: 14





	1. Habits

Most days, I hate running a bar. You have to spend a fortune on stupid shit (like why the hell do I need two backup generators? Is the first one that bad at its job?), deal with a new bar fight every other evening, and reapply for a liquor license every year even though most kids in this city above the age of twelve sell whiskey out of their garage. The place is gross, most of the customers smell terrible, and I’ve had this one weird stain on the counter for the past couple months that just won’t come out. Definitely not my ideal career. 

All that stupid stuff pays off on the few days a year where all the Legends take a break from murdering each other and fork over their winnings to me for some watered-down booze (don’t tell them I said that, though). Natalie’s birthday was coming up, and all of us were in agreement that we liked her enough to throw a surprise party together. My bar is really the only place we can agree on hanging out, other than Ramya’s shop, but apparently the state of it is a bit of a sore subject for her. Surprisingly, everyone showed up on time, in amicable moods, with plenty of gifts, and no brewing arguments. It was truly a rare sight for this particular group of people. 

I was tying some balloons to the last couple of bar stools when Ajay approached me, her hair falling out of her ponytail in several spots. She came to the party straight from work, exhaustion exuding off of her like an aura. 

“You seen Silva?” She asked, her voice airy like she barely had any breath left in her lungs. I took a quick glance around the room. I had collected gifts from pretty much everybody, which were now in a towering pile on the bar counter. Anita was talking to Gibby and Ramya in the far corner of the bar, Renee was fiddling with one of Pathy’s exposed wires, Alex and Revenant were off brooding in the darkest corner of the room, and Crypto was setting up chairs with Loba and Bloodhound. Everyone was accounted for. 

“Uh… nope. Not yet,” I replied. I went back to tying the balloon strings. 

“That's not like him,” she muttered. 

“It isn't?” I said dismissively. When she didn’t reply in the next moment of silence, I looked up at her. She did not find me as funny as most people did. I shrugged it off. “Relax, I'm sure he’ll turn up.”

“Maybe I should go check his apartment. It's not that far…” She trailed off. I felt a bit of pity tug at the corner of my mouth. She looked like she needed a moment to just sit here and relax. 

“No, no, no. I'll go. The crew needs you here. You're like the uh… the team glue,” I stammered. The phrase sounded a bit better in my head. 

“That doesn't…” 

“Just, I got it covered. Keep the troops entertained, and tie up the rest of the balloons in the kitchen,” I told her, leaving with a reassuring pat on the shoulder. She nodded along, her eyes attached to the balloon strings like she wasn’t fully there. 

“Call me when you find him,” she yelled after me. I lifted my hand up in an “okay” gesture as I walked towards the doors. 

“Where you headed, Witt?” Anita called out as I passed her table. 

“Gotta go find Tavi,” I replied. She looked at me with a high eyebrow. I forgot that she didn’t really understand nicknames, and especially didn’t care enough about Octavio to remember his first name. “Octane.” 

“Oh, yeah. I knew someone was missing,” she replied. No you didn’t, I thought.

“Be back in a jiffy. Don’t burn the place down, I haven’t paid this month’s insurance yet,” I said quickly as I headed through the doors. 

When Ajay said that Octane lived “nearby”, she really just meant that he was on this general planet. He lived on the other side of the city, near the more upper-class neighborhoods. I wasn’t entirely sure where he got his money from; he didn’t really talk about his life before the games. I didn’t think he had anything in particular to hide, he probably just found his life before the constant deaths boring. He found everything boring. I assumed he got most of his income from the streams of his matches, but I wondered what it would take to get my fans to give me that much cash. 

I called a taxi to take me uptown. Ajay had called me a few moments after I had left to give me his address. He apparently lived in the penthouse of some uppity apartment complex on the East Side. When the driver dropped me off, I double checked the address with him a few times. The building was one of those places with the full length windows, I guess so the rich can have a better view of all the peasants they’re screwing over. I handed the driver a wad of cash and headed for the doors, not entirely sure if I was allowed to just walk in. If anyone tried to stop me, I planned to just pull out the celebrity card. It worked, like, 30% of the time. 

When I got into the elevator, there was a rather wealthy looking couple joining me for the ride up. I definitely didn’t look like I lived there, with my not-intentionally-ripped jeans and the flannel jacket that had been passed down through all three of my brothers. I flashed them one of my winning smiles as they watched me press the button for the top floor. 

“Hey… I'm Mirage. You know… the uh, Apex Legend guy?” I told them awkwardly. They looked at me with a scanning glance before looking between each other. The elevator beeped as it passed the first few layers of floors. They walked out in the middle of my next sentence, clearly not ones for small talk. “Ok, cool. I'm just uh… checking on my friend. Also a Legend, in case you're wondering… whatever.”

His apartment was the only one on the final floor, which made me feel a little intimidated as I approached his door. He had a small green “Do Not Enter” sticker on his door, accompanied by a cartoon version of his face with big ol’ chompy teeth. At least I had the right place. I let out a soft chuckle before drumming my knuckles against the wood. 

“Hey, Octane? Pal, everyone's at the bar. We’re doing that thing for Nat, remember?” I called out. I listened for a response, or maybe a couple of faint footsteps as he approached the door. There was only silence. I tried knocking again. 

“Tavi? It's Elliott. Just uh… open the door. Hope you didn't fall asleep in there,” I said with a weak laugh. A minute or so passed before I started getting a little nervous. Maybe he wasn’t home. Maybe he was wearing headphones. 

“Ok…” I muttered to myself. I looked around the front door for a place where the key might be hidden, before I realized that he wasn’t really the type of person that’d remember to lock his doors. He probably thought it was more exciting to leave them open. I reached for the doorknob and turned it with ease, confirming my suspicion. I guess I’d have to remember that for the next time I had the urge to burgle someone. “I’m coming in! You better have clothes on.”

The place looked and smelled just about what I had guessed. There were a few appearances of actual furniture, even if the main sofa was covered in dirty laundry and empty soda cans. He had a few weird contraptions neighboring his living room, including a few workout setups and vintage gaming machines. I had been in his corner of the dropship enough times to recognize the smell of fried food and sweat. There were a few lights on in the kitchen, but no sign of the man himself. I walked through a few of the rooms before my eyes settled on a closed door on the other side of the foyer. This door was covered in stickers and mini posters, with images of motorcycles and anarchy symbols. That had to be his bedroom.

“Tavi? You home?” I called through the door, giving him one last chance to speak up before I barged in. I opened the door after another absence of response. “Oc… oh shit.”

He was passed out on the floor next to his bed, his eyes just barely open and a faint trail of blood drying across his forearm. After a moment of paralysis, I rushed down to his side, trying to sit him up against the side of his bed, mostly because it felt like the right thing to do. He was lighter than someone his age probably should’ve been, even with the chunks of metal hanging off his legs. My hands found their way to his face unconsciously, trying to see if his eyes were responsive in any way. My fingers tapped desperately against his cheeks, my heartbeat finding its way into my throat. 

“Tavi… pal, can you hear me? Oh my god… uh… shit, shit, shit,” I trailed off. I had no idea what to do. I felt a faint instinct to reach for my belt for a health pack, before realizing I wasn’t in a match right now. This was real. I reached for my phone, retyping the number I wanted a few times, not able to get it right with the speed that my fingers were shaking. “Che? Ajay, come in.”

“Ajay here. You find ‘im?” She replied calmly. It sounded like she had finally cheered herself up, and I was gonna ruin it. 

“He's uh… he’s uncoms… unconscience, uh… unconscious, I mean,” I stuttered. 

“What? What happened?” She yelled back through the receiver. I looked around the rest of the room, my eyes settling on a syringe and a few empty bottles a few feet from where he was lying. My mind was rushing to tie things together. 

“Looks like a, uh… an overdose I guess. I don't know… there's a needle here and uh…” I was saying words quicker than I could think of the next ones. I felt like crying. I had to stop talking before the sentences dissolved into tears. 

“Is he breathing?” Ajay asked. I almost didn’t want to figure out the answer to that. I set my phone down on the floor, putting her on speaker. I lifted Octavio’s arm in one hand, feeling for his pulse with the other. It was there, thank god, a faint beating just below his skin. I let out a heavy breath.

“Y… yeah. Slowly,” I answered. 

“Okay, just… just watch him. I'm on my way over. If he wakes up, call me,” she replied frantically. I could hear the bar doors opening and closing through the phone. She hung up in the next moment.

“Sh… sure,” I told the empty line. 

I sat there in stunned silence for a couple of torturously long minutes. I wished Ajay had stayed on the phone. Being there alone with him was just about the last thing I wanted. Looking at his face was becoming a bit too difficult, so I dropped my head into my hands, deciding I’d much rather try to regain my composure while staring at my palms than my friend’s nearly-lifeless body. I sniffled, rubbing across my nose with the back of my fingers. 

“Oh… hey, Witt.” I heard a faint voice, barely above a whisper. My head shot up from my hands and I felt my lungs empty with a weighted sigh. 

“Holy shit… thank god. I really thought you were a goner.” I wanted to hug him and sock him in the jaw at the same time. I settled on helping him stand up and sit on the edge of his bed. 

“Nah this is…” he started, running a hand through his curls and rubbing his fingertips across his eyes. He still didn’t look quite alive, a clear haze hanging over his eyes. “This is nothing.” I reached for my phone and re-dialed for Lifeline.

“Ajay? He's up,” I said quickly. 

“Oh, thank goodness. I'm not far. Keep him awake,” she replied briefly. It sounded like she was in a car. She didn’t stay on the phone for very long. 

“You called Ajay? Damn… she's not gonna be happy,” Octavio muttered. He found the trail of dried blood on his arm and was desperately trying to rub it away, watching as the red flakes littered his bed. 

“Yeah, probably ‘cuz you keep trying to kill yourself. You don't respawn out here, you get that, right?” I said angrily. He shrugged in response, rubbing the back of his neck and wiping the trail of drool off his chin.

“Yeah, yeah…” he trailed off. 

“No, don't blow it off. I'm serious.”

“You're never serious,” he said dismissively. That was pretty much it for me. I lifted my hand up and brought it down across the back of his head. He ducked and rubbed at his hair, and I quickly realized it probably wasn’t the best thing to do to someone that was dying on the floor a few moments ago. “Ow…” 

“Sorry, I- I didn't mean…” I started, but then I stopped. “You have to take this seriously. It's Nat’s birthday… we were gonna do something special for her at the bar, and if you ruined her day, I swear to god-”

“Relax, amigo. I'm fine,” he said reassuringly. He tried to stand up from the bed, only to lose his balance and plop right back down. 

“You're not fine! Stop saying you're fine,” I snapped. My voice cracked on that last word, and I cleared my throat before continuing. “Nothing about this is fine.”

“I forgot about Wattson's birthday, huh?” he said quietly. It was rare to get him quiet. Maybe something I said had actually gotten through that thick skull of his. He started fidgeting with his nose ring, his other hand preoccupied with grabbing a bandaid from his bedside table. 

“She was really looking forward to seeing you,” I replied. He smiled softly as he unwrapped the bandage and covered the new track mark with it. I’m sure it was some attempt to hide it from Ajay, but there was no hiding the bruise that was forming around it. “Look, you can poison yourself as much as you want in the ring, but out here it’s actually dangerous.”

“But it’s like… my whole thing,” he replied weakly. I guess that was one way to say you’re an addict. 

“Maybe you should find a new thing, then.”

“No, no, the stim isn't the problem. This was some new stuff, and lemme tell you, the rush was amazing-” He started, his eyes starting to get that mischievous glow to them again. I cut him off with a hand in his face before he could finish. 

“Look… I've always thought we were good friends, you know, besides us killing each other at our day job. But I can't be friends with someone that does this shit. It’s scary.”

Octavio was shoved back into another contemplative silence, which was extremely weird to see from him. As I finished my sentence, I heard the front door of the apartment open. I assumed it was Ajay, but I had no idea how she had gotten here so quickly without a significant amount of speeding. She stormed into the bedroom, not even giving me a glance before picking a sandal up from the trash pile of Octavio’s room, like she knew exactly where it was. 

“Silva, ya stupid, empty-skulled, braindead, suicidal lunatic,” she shouted, smacking him on the top of his head with every new adjective. He grabbed at his hair, still rubbing at the spot I’d hit him a few moments before. 

“Ow! Can everyone stop hitting me? Dios mio…” He muttered.

“One of these days, you're gonna stop breathing, and I'm going to travel to hell, find your scrawny little behind, and beat the crap outta it!” She continued. She threw the sandal across the room and sat down on the bed next to him, rummaging through her kit for the proper supplies. I didn’t really feel like I needed to be there anymore. 

“Okay, okay. Magic man here already gave me a lecture,” he replied, gesturing towards me. 

“Yeah, and you’re damn lucky. Otherwise we would’ve thrown a whole party witcha up here choking on your own vomit,” Ajay said sternly, her words flowing together more and more as she got frustrated. She injected him with something else, which seemed like a weird thing to do to someone with bad stuff already floating around in their system, but she knew more about this stuff than I did. Octavio was one of the only people I’d ever seen that didn’t flinch at needles. I hated doing that shit in the Games. Sometimes I’d rather just bleed out. 

“To be fair, I woke up on my own,” he pointed out. He must’ve been mighty confident that Ajay wasn’t going to throw him across the room to continue arguing with her. “This wasn’t even the worst one.” 

“Another word and I’ll lock you in this room,” she threatened, standing up from the bed once she was done. “Now do you want to stop trying to kill yourself and eat some cake with us at Witt’s bar? Natalie’s going to be there in… ah, she might be there already.” 

“Nah, we got a few minutes,” I replied, looking at my phone for the time. 

“Alright, alright, just let me get dressed. Get out,” Octavio continued, brushing Ajay and I out with his hands. 

We begrudgingly agreed. I wasn’t entirely okay with the idea of leaving him unsupervised. I didn’t want him to be by himself ever again. He opened the door a few moments later, changing in apparently record time, wearing an oversized sweatshirt with the Apex Predators logo on it and a pair of shorts that tucked into his metal stumps. I wasn’t sure that he ever changed out of those pants. 

“Alright, compadres. Try to keep up,” he said with a grin, running past us and towards the door, his legs making a metallic click as he jumped up and smacked the doorframe.

“Hold on, I need to call a cab,” Ajay called after him. We caught up to him outside of the elevator, and I watched him bounce back and forth as we waited. 

“Ugh, I wanted to take my bike,” he groaned. 

“Yeah, you lost that privilege when you needed to get a rescue squad out here,” Ajay replied. 

The ride back to the Paradise Lounge was nowhere near quiet, with Octavio finally breaking out of his shell. There was still that tired haze hanging behind his eyes, but he was back to all smiles and jokes. I was glad that he knew how to get Ajay back on her feet too, because for the first time all evening, I felt like we were all finally relaxed. Once we got back to the bar, we had to rush in, with barely seconds left until Natalie’s planned arrival. Tavi liked that we were cutting it close. 

The rest of the night went pretty well, with a rather interrupted train of celebration and jokes and drinking games. Natalie opened all of her gifts towards the end of the night, including the book of puns I had gotten her, which I think was the best of the bunch (totally unbiased opinion). 

Something was still bothering me. As I watched Octavio jump around the room and challenge everybody to a line of shots, I couldn’t shake the image of his unconscious face as it flickered over his current expression. I didn’t understand how either of them could pretend like that hadn’t just happened. People filtered out as the night went on, and I was mostly busy with cleaning out glasses as everyone left. Octavio and Ajay had stayed back rather late, so once I felt satisfied with the minimal work I’d done, I grabbed a beer and joined them. 

“You guys heading out soon?” I asked. I didn't want it to seem like I was pushing them out, but I was. I didn't want to look at Tavi anymore.

“Yeah, I’m calling another cab. He’s coming home with me tonight,” Ajay replied, scrolling through her phone. 

“I told you, I-”

“If you say you’re fine one more time…” she said in warning. Tavi rolled his eyes. 

“Well, thanks for the party. And, uh… making sure I didn’t kick it earlier,” he told me. I smiled weakly. I couldn’t turn anything about this into a joke. Something about his smile and the extra spring in his step made me physically sick. 

"Yeah, don't mention it."


	2. Te amo

“Yo, do you own a suit?” Tavi asked after beating me in Mortal Kombat yet again. I don’t know why I keep letting him invite me over to play video games. It’s like being in a street fight with a boxer. 

“Uh… I think so?” I replied. Tavi kept yelling at me for picking the movie star character because I’m obviously not good at playing him. I picked him again anyway. I like his style. “Why?” 

“I have to go to this stupid family banquet thing. Figured I’d invite you,” he continued nonchalantly. I was a little too distracted by this development to pay attention to the game. He got the first couple hits on me pretty quickly. 

“Oh. Why aren't you bringing Ajay?” I continued. He had me knocked down in the next few seconds. 

“She's busy. That, and my dad doesn’t really like her,” he replied. The next round started up, and I didn’t even try to put up a fight. I’m pretty sure I was just letting Tavi get new win records at this point. 

“How can he not like her? She's lovely.” 

“There's some political stuff involved, I never really pay attention. Something about the wars and Ajay’s parents, whatever.” I didn’t want to pull on that thread anymore. The thought of the Frontier Wars and how many of our coworkers were involved in them made me a bit sick. 

“Anything else I should know about good ol’ Papa Silva?” I asked. We were brought back to the menu, but didn’t start up another game. I was just about done with losing. Tavi dropped his controller down on the coffee table and reached for his soda can. I was trying to get him away from energy drinks, even though I’m not entirely sure soda is any better.

“He's old, mean, very rich, and is desperately trying to rewrite his will so he doesn't have to give me his company when he dies,” Tavi replied before taking a sip. My eyebrows bunched together. 

“Wait, what company?”

“Uh… Silva Pharmaceuticals? Huge drug company, I get my stims there. My dad's the big boss,” he said. I felt a couple of gears click around in my head, though they were a bit rusty, I have to admit. 

“Wait… you're that Silva?” I exclaimed.

“You really didn't know that?”

“No, I didn't know that! No wonder you're loaded,” I muttered.

“Uh, excuse you, my money comes from my very successful gaming career. I'm cut off from the Silva bank account.” I frowned at that. I was already starting to imagine charming my way to a new party ship. Maybe a few renovations for the Paradise Lounge. 

“Oh, why?”

“Dunno. Probably the drug habit and the blowing-off-my-legs habit and the killing-people-for-sport habit and the-” he rambled. I waved my hand out.

“Yeah, I get the picture,” I replied. “So what about your mom? Is she nice at least?”

“I don't know, she's not around anymore,” he said coldly. He didn’t seem exactly sad, though I was ready to jump into full sympathy mode. I knew what it was like to lose a parent. He noticed the shift in tone and lifted his hands in a defensive gesture. “She's not dead, just... gone. My dad’s on wife number, like, four, five? I stopped going to the weddings a while ago. They're so boring.” 

“At least you're gonna inherit all that money one day,” I said, trying to dig the conversation of the depressing hole he had dug. 

“Yeah… I guess. I'm planning to give the company to my sister. It's not really my thing.” 

“Sister?”

“Well, half-sister, Nikki. She’s a year younger than me. Kinda the reason my parents got divorced in the first place. Then there’s her brother Mateo, then a new wife with Tiago and Sammy. Last wife had twins, Julian and Axel. Little devils.” I tried to make some attempt at keeping a list of them in my head, but there were too many people floating around up there.

“Jeez, that’s a lot to keep track of. Anything else about you I don’t know?” 

“Did I tell you about the rabbit?” 

“I don’t even want to know.” I got up from the couch and stretched out my back. I had stayed the night (not like that), mostly unintentionally, so I didn’t have any other clothes than the sweatshirt he lent me, which was two sizes too small and smelled like a frat house. I wanted to head home and get into clothes that I owned. “When is this family banquet?”

“Tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow?” He nodded along like there was nothing wrong with that statement. He clicked out of Mortal Kombat and switched to one of the several shooting games he cycled through. “You let me know a day in advance?” 

“Not gonna lie, I mostly forgot it was happening. And I wasn’t planning to go, but apparently my dad has something ‘important’ to do and I need to be there.”

“So… am I like…” I trailed off. He didn’t look up from the TV. “Your date?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” I twisted my lips together like it was somehow hiding the rush of blood to my cheeks. 

“Cool, cool,” I nodded along. “Alright, well… I’m gonna head out. You gonna pick me up tomorrow?” 

“Sure,” he replied, already distracted by the new game up on his screen. I waved goodbye and he gestured slightly in response before his hand shot back to his controller. 

See, when I said I had a suit, that was mostly a guess. When I got back home, I went straight to my closet, digging all the way to the back for any indication of a suit jacket or button-down shirt. I had a single maroon two-piece suit that I probably hadn’t worn since high school. Luckily, I was a bit of a small teenager, so even though I had grown quite a bit since then, it was already too baggy to begin with. While I had the jacket and pants figured out, the next battle was finding a shirt that was anywhere near formal. I didn’t have one. I decided a sweater was close enough, and dug out a black turtleneck that was ripped in a few places, though luckily they were spots that’d be covered by the jacket. I really needed to go shopping. 

I didn’t sleep much the night before. I was a class A overthinker, and being friends with Tavi, who doesn’t really put much thought into anything he says, meant that every conversation was a challenge. I wasn’t really sure if he meant that I was his Date date or just his “date” date. The way I see it, there are two types of people: those that wear their feelings like a ‘kick me’ sign and those that keep them bottled up like a 300-year-old wine. Tavi and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I don’t think Tavi would admit that he had feelings for me even if we had been married for 30 years. I’m more of a “saying ‘I love you’ on the second date” kind of guy. 

I got dressed the next morning, put on way too much cologne, and spent most of my prep time on my hair. I had no idea how Tavi’s curls looked so perfectly messy all the time. Mine usually looked like overcooked spaghetti. I was ready at eleven AM and Tavi wasn’t picking me up until five. I am fantastic at time management. 

Tavi arrived a minute early. I could hear his motorcycle from down the street, so I was ready on my doorstep when he pulled up and did a mini donut in my driveway. When the disturbed dirt settled, I saw him lifting off his helmet and revealing his hair (perfect as always, that bastard). I had a bit of a culture shock for a minute, seeing Tavi in a nice shirt and suspenders, and more surprising than all of that, pants. He had a black tie tucked into his shirt so he didn’t lose it to the wind as he drove. The only thing that resembled the guy I knew was the half dozen piercings that littered his face. I don’t think he’d take them off for the Queen. 

“Well, don’t you clean up nice?” He teased as he shifted forward on his bike.

“Beat me to it,” I replied. I walked up to the back of the bike and stared at it for a minute, trying to figure out if there was a proper way to get on. As I was looking, he pointed to a second helmet that was strapped to the seat. As much as I like my hair, I like my skull just a bit more.

“Just, uh… swing your leg over. It’s less complicated than you think,” he told me. I climbed onto the back of the seat and instantly realized that a motorcycle is probably the most claustrophobic of vehicles. “Hold on tight, ‘cause I never do the speed limit.” 

He revved the bike a few times to warn me before he took off, and I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his stomach. As soon as he accelerated, I nearly flew off the back, and I gripped his waist for dear life. I figured at least I wouldn’t have to worry about this whole banquet thing if I was made into roadkill. After a few minutes, my initial panic went away, and I tried to enjoy the ride for a moment. I’m not sure if I would describe it as nice, but it was definitely exhilarating. I could see why it was his vehicle of choice. 

I didn’t really process that he had stopped in front of the banquet hall until I felt his hands tapping mine away. I let go slowly and stood up, happy to have my feet on solid ground again. He took our helmets and strapped them back down to the seat before handing the keys to a valet driver that was hovering in front of the building. Tavi took a deep breath before looking over at me.

“Shall we?” he asked weakly. I nodded and followed him into the front doors. I felt like we should’ve linked arms or something, but again, still not really sure where I fell on the spectrum of accompaniment. A few of the employees informed us that the Silva banquet was happening on the twenty second floor, so Tavi and I took the elevator up. Once we stepped in, he remembered to take his tie out of his shirt, though it wasn’t really in the proper place. I stepped forward and reached for his collar, straightening it out without a word. He seemed a bit taken aback, but nodded in appreciation. 

“I guess I should know some Spanish for this thing, right? Like… Hola! And uh… gracias. I’ve heard you say that a few times. Te amo?” I said.

“Do not say ‘te amo’,” he warned in a lighthearted voice.

“Why not? I’ve heard them say that on the TV,” I replied.

“If you want to say ‘I love you’, it’s 'te quiero’. Te amo is like… I don't know, I haven't even said that to my family,” he continued. 

“Ok, but in the hypothetical situation that I meet this Spanish girl and we're really hitting it off-”

“Te. Quiero. Unless you want a restraining order,” he said definitively.

“Te quiero, got it.”

The elevator dinged for the correct floor, and the doors opened directly into the banquet hall. There was a sea of people already cluttered into the space, and the room was lined with tables and buffet tables. There was a bar and a dance floor, a little dessert station with a chocolate fountain, the kind of stuff that people had weddings in movies. I wasn’t sure if we were supposed to be celebrating something, but it sure did feel like it. 

“You’re related to all these people?” I asked.

“Yeah, in some way or another. Aunts, uncles, second cousins three times removed kind of thing. That’s kind of what happens when your dad has four brothers and four wives,” he replied. He exclaimed lightly as a waiter passed us with a little plate of shrimp, and he grabbed a couple excitedly. I waved them away, since I’m fairly certain I’m allergic to seafood. Once the waiter had moved on, a new challenger approached, a brown-haired woman with a tight-knit dress and heels sharp enough to pierce my throat.

“Octavio! Ha pasado mucho tiempo. ¿Qué pasa?” She said gleefully as she ran up and embraced Tavi. She had at least 6 inches on him. 

“Holà, Nikki,” Tavi said dryly. I tried to go through my mental checklist of family members, and if my memory served me well, she was his half sister from the second wife. There were too many numbers to put together. She looked over at me with an awkward smile, meeting Tavi’s eyes again for an explanation.

“Hi, Elliott Witt,” I introduced myself, to spare Tavi the effort. I held out my hand and she shook it rather strongly. 

“Oh, nice to meet you,” she said warmly. She looked between the two of us for a few more moments, trying to connect some dots. “So, how long have you two been a thing?”

“Oh, we're not-” I started.

“About a year,” Tavi finished. I looked over at him curtly, but he didn’t meet my gaze. Nikki didn’t continue on the matter, looking around towards the back of the room, which dissolved entirely into those rich-people wall-length windows. 

“Oh, cool. You get around to talking to dad yet?” She continued. 

“Nope. Saving the worst for last,” Tavi replied. 

“Hm. He’s been asking about you,” she continued. A waiter passed with a plate of champagne glasses and we all took one a bit too quickly. 

“Weird,” he continued, his interest quickly slipping away from him. As he told me once, he liked to keep his conversations to a 50 word limit. Less was ideal. 

“Well, I’m gonna keep doing my rounds. We have a little family table near dad, so try to get back there eventually,” she finished, planting a small kiss on Tavi’s cheek. She nodded to me as she left. 

“So… am I your boyfriend now?” I asked, half as a joke, but I think the crack in my voice gave me away. 

“It’s more fun to pretend that you are,” he replied with that same unreadable attitude. “Come on, I wanna go mess with the little candles under the buffet trays.” 

“Tavi, I-” But he was already off. 

I trailed after him like a lost child, because my only icebreaker for this party was “Hello, yes, I’m here with Octavio. I kill him everyday at my day job”. Before he could start a fire at the buffet tables, two little kids ran up behind Tavi and grabbed at his pant legs. 

“Tavi! Tavi!” They exclaimed. Tavi smiled from ear to ear and scooped one of them up from their armpits with a strength that I didn’t know he had. 

“Ah, ¿qué pasa hermanos? You got so big!” He replied, swinging the one boy around in the air before placing him back on the floor. Something about the way he was around kids caused a little flutter of warmth in my chest. I guess it’s not very hard for him to fit it with small, angry balls of energy. 

“We saw you on TV last night!” One of them told him. They must’ve been the twin brothers he was talking about, because the two were absolutely indistinguishable. I was completely blanking on their names, unfortunately. I hope I wasn’t being quizzed at the end. 

“Oh really?” Tavi replied, a bit nervously. I think it was easy for us to forget that broadcasts of a bloodsport are pretty easily accessible to kids. They couldn’t have been older than seven.

“Yeah! You were all like ‘pew pew’ and you totally blew Bangalore’s brains out!” The other rambled, making rather gruesome gestures with his hands. Tavi laughed along, rubbing the back of his hair. The kids eventually caught sight of me, and their mouths practically dropped to the floor. 

“Woah, are you Mirage?” The first one asked.

“Yessir, the one and only,” I said with a smile. 

“Awesome! I didn't know you were friends!” The other shouted with a small jump.

“Yeah, we're all kind of friends. Except for Bangalore, of course,” Tavi said with a fake scowl. I wasn’t sure if he actually liked Anita or not, but I could definitely agree with that sentiment. “Did you watch with Dad?”

“No, he doesn't like watching it. He thinks it's gross.” I saw Tavi frown at that a little. 

“Have you seen him?” 

“He’s back there with Rose,” his brother replied, pointing across the room to the same back corner that Nikki had pointed us towards.

“Rose?” Tavi asked. 

“Yeah. Our new mom,” the other explained. So I guess he was on wife number five. I watched a flash of irritation pass behind Tavi’s eyes before he shook his hands over the kids’ heads, ruffling their hair up. 

“Alright, go have fun. Save some for me, though,” Tavi said with a mischievous smirk. The two boys nodded and ran off, practically gone once I blinked. 

I could see that Tavi was trying to take the longest route possible to the back of the room. We passed and stopped to greet a few more distant family members and a couple more of his siblings. Most of them knew what the Apex games were, but pretty much everyone over the age of eighteen wanted to move away from that topic as soon as it was brought up. After a while, I learned not to talk about it in front of the older people. Tavi was playing a fun little game where he introduced me as something different every time, sometimes his boyfriend or assistant or accountant or husband. I wondered if he knew how much he was torturing me with that. 

There was a line forming for the back of the room, like Papa Silva was some sort of limited-time celebrity. Tavi got on it begrudgingly, tapping his foot with a slight metal clang. I realized I had never really seen him with shoes on. 

“Ridiculous. Waiting in line for my own dad,” he muttered as we approached the front. Once his dad caught sight of him, Tavi’s expression switched from disappointment to a thin veil of happiness in record time. 

“Oh! Octavio,” his dad started, pulling him into an awkward hug, almost like he didn’t want to touch him. “I wasn't expecting to see you here. It's been a while.”

“Yeah, well, you told me I had to come, so,” Tavi replied with a trace of passive aggressiveness. His dad nodded along with a tight-lipped smile before his eyes settled on me. He didn’t look very impressed. 

“And you are?” He asked, practically looking down at me from over his nose. 

“Elliott Witt.”

“My coworker,” Tavi filled in. For some reason that title hurt the most out of all the fake ones he had given me that night. I guess I wasn’t exactly fake-romance material when it came to his parents. 

“Coworker? Are you still doing that Apex thing?” His dad asked with heavy judgement.

“Yup.”

“Oh, just the way you said ‘coworker’ made me think you had a… another job.” It was clear that he meant to say a ‘real job’, but had revised the statement for a bit more sensitivity. 

“Nope. Well, other than the gaming gig,” Tavi explained. 

“Right,” his dad replied dryly. A woman stopped chatting with guests to his dad’s left, and joined the conversation. She didn’t look like she was from around here, with strictly tied blonde hair and enough colorful makeup to make Loba blush. She was also pregnant. “You've met Rose, right? I'm not sure you were at the wedding.”

“I wasn't, and I haven't. Nice to meet you,” Tavi continued. Neither of them made any effort to embrace or shake hands. 

“This is Octavio, my eldest,” his dad explained, and Rose nodded along. Tavi looked down at her stomach and frowned.

“You're expecting?” He asked.

“Yes, she's due in a few months.”

“Wow. Congrats,” he said with a degree of sarcasm that only I could pick up on. It was the kind of tone he used in battle when he couldn’t put enough effort into joking around. “So, Nikki said you had something important to talk about with me?” 

“I do, but I’d rather have that conversation in private,” his dad replied. In the next moment, the two of them had a secret argument with just their eyes, and Tavi was obviously losing it. I felt a bit scared for him. 

“Fine, lead the way. Get it over with,” Tavi challenged. His dad excused them both to a room just adjacent to the banquet hall, leaving me alone with Rose, who quickly broke off to talk to more guests. 

And so I was alone at a party with a whole bunch of strangers. It felt a bit inappropriate to go around doing what I usually do at parties, which was to try to seduce someone to go home with me. I hadn’t been introduced to anyone that felt friendly enough to continue a conversation with, so I made my way over to the bar. Maybe I could get familiar with the bartender.   
I don’t remember all that much about my dad, but he never treated me like that. Granted, he never really got to see me grow up or judge any of the choices I had made, but according to my mom, he wasn’t the type of guy to intrude on his kids' lives. As long as they were alive and happy, so was he. Unfortunately, I was the only one of his kids to get anywhere near that point. I think if I had a dad like Tavi’s, my self esteem would be practically non-existent, but I’m not sure if Tavi is the type to care about that stuff. I wasn’t going to psychoanalyze him about it, though. Everyone wants their parent’s approval, even if they don’t need it.

I got through two glasses of whiskey before Tavi emerged from the side room. He wasn’t crying, nor did he seem particularly angry, so I thought that was a good start. His expression was rather unreadable. I waved him over to the bar, and as he made his way over to me, his face got progressively lighter. He leaned up against the bar next to me, but waved the bartender away when she came over. He didn’t drink; he said it only slowed him down. 

“Was it a fun conversation?” I asked. 

“Nope,” he replied. I wasn’t sure if he was going to elaborate, but I didn’t push him on it. “Business stuff. I told him I didn’t want anything to do with it.” 

“I assume he wants you to work for him?” 

“Hell no. He wants me as far away from this company as possible, but legally, it’s going to be my responsibility once he kicks it. He’s trying to get me to sign some papers to reverse that,” he explained. 

“So… that’s a good thing, isn’t it? You don’t want anything to do with it,” I repeated. 

“Yeah, I guess. I didn’t sign them, though,” he said. I would've asked him why, but I wasn’t sure if he even understood. He didn’t seem like he had his emotions running on any sort of consistency. “Do you want to get out of here?” 

“Sure,” I agreed, even though it felt like we had just gotten there. I didn’t even get a chance to indulge in the free food, but if Tavi wanted out, I guess I could understand that. I dropped off of my barstool and followed him out to the elevator. I felt a little sympathy for his siblings, since I had a feeling they wouldn’t be seeing him again for quite some time, and he didn’t even stop to say goodbye.

As we descended back to the bottom floor, I felt something tug at my mind. I wasn’t entirely sure what the feeling was, but it kind of felt like relief and disappointment had a very ugly baby. I looked over at Tavi as he stared at the doors, taking in the facial features that I didn’t get to see very often: his eyes, deep like sand dunes and the curve of his lips over his piercings. His hair was my favorite, a wild little waterfall of curls, twisted together like a feral undergrowth. I wish he didn’t cover up so much in the games, but I guess the anonymity did something for him. 

We had the valet call his bike back, and as we climbed on and fastened our helmets, my negative feelings only grew. The sun had barely set yet, and I felt like I didn’t really get the night out with him that I wanted. It was a little silly to want that though, right? I mean, all the plays at a date were just that; he was playing around. Still, even the acting dug up some desire for it to be real. I wasn’t sure if I liked that development. I didn’t want to feel that way for him, that much I knew for certain. 

We got back to my place after another bumpy motorcycle ride, but I realized that I was fearing for my life less and less. I got off the bike and handed him his helmet back. I was planning to just head inside and let him take off towards his apartment, but I didn’t want to get through another night without sleeping. 

“Hey, um…” I started as he got his bike ready to leave again. “Was everything in there, like… for fun?” 

“You thought that was fun? ‘Cause I was planning to do this thing to the fondue station-” He joked.

“No, I meant the… relationship stuff,” I said quietly. His face bunched together in confusion.

“Yeah, I mean, I was just joking around.” 

“Right.” I picked at the fingernails on my other hand, looking down at my feet with a subtle frown. Tavi didn’t say anything for a moment, then turned off his bike. \

“What?” He asked with an annoyed shoulder shrug.

“Nothing.” 

“No, it’s not nothing, you’ve got that look,” he continued sternly. I looked up from my hands, swallowing the rock that was forming in my throat. 

“I just… what is this?” I said with a trace of emotional exhaustion, gesturing between the two of us. He looked at me with a blank expression at first, before biting at the inside of his lip and looking down at the gravel driveway. 

“What do you want ‘this’ to be?” 

“I don’t know… I- You annoy the shit out of me sometimes, and your attitude… sometimes I feel like you just don’t care about anything. But I still… for some reason I still… like being with you,” I said quickly, like I wanted the words out of my brain and into the open so I could be free of them. Tavi looked at me with a small smile before letting out a brief chuckle. Not really the reaction that I was expecting.

“Well… you’re definitely not boring,” he replied. Still not entirely the response that I wanted, but at least it was high praise from him. He got up from his bike and set his helmet down on the seat, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, Witt. I like being with you too, it’s just. How would that work? We go to work everyday and kill each other.” I nodded along, but the movement quickly turned into me shaking my head.

“I’d quit for you,” I stammered.

“Wh- No, don’t say that,” he protested. Once the idea was out of my mouth, though, I couldn’t back out of it. I meant it, at least in theory. 

“No, I just mean, if that’s a big problem. I couldn’t ask you to quit, but I’ve been doing this shit for long enough. I’d drop out for you,” I continued.

“Elliott… Come on, that’s ridiculous,” he said with a breathy laugh, but I wasn’t joking.

“It’s not.” 

Tavi looked at me critically for a few moments, searching for something in my expression that would break. I guess he didn’t find it, because he crossed the space between me and his bike and lifted my face with his hands, pulling me in for a kiss. I completely froze, but let him pull my head down to his level to cover the foot-tall gap between us. After a few moments, I realized that this was what I wanted. Not just a night out, but this. We stood there for nearly a full minute, comfortable in each other’s embrace, the taste of his lip piercings becoming a familiar metallic chill against my mouth. Neither of us wanted to let go, but it wasn’t exactly a comfortable position with our height difference. Tavi let go with a sigh and a smile, before stepping back towards his bike. I let out a breath too, trying to hide how easy it was to make me blush.

Neither of us spoke for a moment. I didn’t really want to. I had put all my cards out on the table, and that was his version of spilling his feelings, though his method was admittedly much easier. A look of understanding passed between us, and my feelings of disappointment practically disappeared. 

“Alright, well… I guess I’ll see you in the ring tomorrow,” he said with a laugh. I couldn’t help but chuckle along. 

“Yeah, I guess I will,” I replied. 

He got onto his bike and started it up with a flick of his heel against the ignition, making a grating metallic scape against it. I wanted to say something before the hum of the engine tuned me out.

“Hey…” I started. I was ready for my accent to be absolutely awful. “Te quiero.” 

He smiled under his helmet, and his response echoed in my ears for the rest of the night, ruining my plans to actually get some sleep this time. I heard them for the rest of the week, through every match and every loss and every kill. 

“Te amo.”


	3. Halloween

In the course of dating probably the most bizarre man on any planet, I’ve learned a lot of things about him, ranging from concerning to just plain weird. For example, in high school, he once stole a road sign on Psamathe just because it said ‘69’ on it, which was still hanging up in his bedroom. There was also, of course, the whole bunny situation. I’ve also learned that he really enjoys Halloween, to an almost inhuman amount. This probably shouldn’t surprise me, though. I mean, one day a year where he can go all out, do dangerous stunts with little consequences, and pull playful pranks on everyone he sees? Of course he’s all over it. 

I told him that I wanted to have a party in the bar for the holiday, and he agreed to meet up with me the day before to put up decorations. I was surprised he went along with it, because he had told me once that Mischief Night was almost a religious observation for him. It was a nice night, though. We sank a few drinks, cranked some tunes from the jukebox in the corner, and hung up lights, spiderwebs, the whole shebang. We sat down for a moment towards the end of the night as we finished up, and I emptied yet another glass of beer, though Tavi was laying off the alcohol, as usual. 

“Ugh, if I’m gonna be around people, I need to figure out my costume,” Tavi groaned. I hooked him up with a soda in the absence of liquor, which was probably an equally poor choice. 

“Do you have any ideas?” I asked. 

“I don’t know. I kind of want to be a vampire. Or a pirate. Oh!” He said with a gasp. I suppose the caffeine was strengthening some of those brain cells. “A vampire pirate! Yeah that’s it, that’s my costume.” 

“Is that a thing?” I asked.

“I’m making it a thing,” he replied, taking another sip of his drink. He swallowed, and continued nonchalantly, “You have to match.” 

“Wh- why do I have to match?” I stammered. 

“Cause it’s cute.”

“Okay... what the hell matches with a vampire pirate?” 

“I don’t know. The opposite of a vampire is a werewolf, obviously.” 

“Obviously,” I replied. This was just common sense. 

“And… a cowboy is kind of like a land pirate. And that was your costume last year, too, so you can just recycle it.” I nodded along. I really pulled that costume off, which I didn’t think was any small feat. 

“You want me to be a werewolf cowboy?” I clarified. 

“Yup,” he said simply, crushing the empty soda can and tossing it into the garbage can on the other side of the room. He rarely missed. 

“I guess I can work with that,” I agreed, after thinking about it for a moment. 

Tavi’s phone buzzed, and he brought it out of his pocket like he was expecting the text. He read a message off of his home screen with a frown, typed a quick response, and stood up.

“Sorry, I gotta run,” he told me. 

“Okay. Everything alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Che’s been making me do these little check-ins at the clinic. I’m a bit late, but it’s fine. I like cutting it close,” he said with a smile. 

I wanted to push him a little further on the whole clinic thing, but I figured he was telling me just as much as he wanted me to know. He skipped a bit as he walked over to my side of the table, landing a peck on my cheek before he headed around the opposite side and out the door, waving with a small half-salute as he left. 

I cleaned up my beer glasses and thought about the costume as I washed them out. I still had the cowboy piece in a box somewhere in my attic, with all the other outfits I wore to matches. The werewolf thing was going to be a bit harder to put together. I’d have to pull out ye ol’ arts-and-craft skills, or maybe ask my mom. She was always excited for these types of things. I hadn’t called her in a while, either, which always made me a little nervous, but she was having a string of good weeks, so I decided to reach out.

She pulled through, as usual. Apparently, she had done some couple’s costume with my dad a long while ago, where they went as Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf. She showed me some embarrassing pictures and everything, the whole of it so painfully… parental. I was ecstatic that she could remember something like that though, so much so that I didn’t want to take the costume pieces, but she insisted. Long story short, she had the wolf ears, the sharp teeth, some fake fur to fill up my cowboy costume with, and even those colored contacts that make it look like your pupils are thinner. 

I told Tavi to show up to the bar an hour or so early to help me with some last minute things. I heard his motorcycle pull up in front, followed by him bursting through the front doors with as much drama as he could muster, his vampire cloak flowing behind him like he was in a movie. His costume delivered on his insane vision, complete with a pirate hat, one of those flowy white Victorian shirts, and fake blood dripping down his chin. He even swapped out one of his metal legs for a steel peg leg attachment, which he only could’ve gotten from Che. He cackled when he saw me, all dressed in the “matching” get up. 

“Yes! That’s perfect!” He exclaimed, running forward like he was planning to tackle me. He nearly made me drop a stack of paper cups as he embraced me and spun me around, but luckily I was able to deposit them on a nearby table before my hands went flying. 

“We look… pretty amazing, huh?” I said with a laugh. 

“Es la leche,” I heard him mutter. I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but I had only ever heard him use that phrase when referring to his Gauntlet, so it had to be a good thing. “When’s everyone else getting here?”

“About half an hour or so. I still gotta put out punch and stuff,” I replied. He nodded along, almost jumping from leg to leg, waiting for me to give him something to do. “Do you want to set up the strobe lights and stuff? I think I have a fog machine in the back room, too.” 

“Aye aye, Captain,” he said with a little salute. He paused for a moment before running off. “Or I guess, I’m the Captain right now,” he continued, tipping his hat with a chuckle. 

I rolled my eyes fondly as he ran off behind the bar. Tavi saw everything as a challenge, hanging up the lights with excessive speed, though every so often he’d disappear into the bathroom for a few minutes. I didn’t think about it too hard. The bar was looking pretty stellar by the end of the hour, resembling one of those chaotic college halloween parties that I’ve totally been invited to. The fog machine was on full blast in front of the doors, fake cobwebs and string lights covered every inch of the wall, and I had drinks lined up and ready for picking. 

Renee and Nat were the first to show up, both of them dressed up like cats. Renee was reusing one of her battle outfits, though a little dressed down, and Nat had a matching costume in the opposite color. Nat was very verbal about how cool the bar looked now, though her date wasn’t as quick to admit it. Thankfully, Renee had returned to her habit of fondly teasing me around, which I much preferred to the silent treatment she had given me after the whole flower incident. 

Gibby showed up next with Anita and Ajay, though Ajay didn’t stay with them long, looking around the bar to find Tavi (who was in the bathroom again). Gibby was a master with makeup, and his zombie pilot costume looked scarily realistic, giving me flashbacks of those bastards that pop up around the Canyon. Anita never went too crazy, and had thrown on a superhero mask and cape, and called it a day. Ajay had apparently heard about Tavi’s weird costume idea, because she too was dressed up as a pirate, with a little bat-shaped clip in her hair.   
Crypto arrived next, with Caustic trickling in afterwards, but neither of them were particularly dressed up. Crypto had stopped at one of those obnoxiously orange suit jackets, and Alex didn’t try at all. Revenant and Pathfinder didn’t really understand the whole concept of the holiday, but Revenant was scary enough on his own. I think his entire existence counts as a halloween costume. Pathfinder changed the digital face on his torso screen to a smiling Jack-o-lantern. 

Bloodhound was late, which surprised me, because they originally told me that they were going to be able to make it at all. They reused their costume from last year, complete with the pumpkin head and all, but I couldn’t blame them for unoriginality since I was practically doing the same thing. 

Loba and Ramya were last, and nothing scared me more than the two of them traveling around together. Ramya had been filling our apartment with some pretty horrible metal grinding noises for the past few weeks, but I think it paid off, because she came in with a homemade medieval armor set that was shiny enough to make Loba blush. Speaking of the devil, her costume was seemingly supposed to match Ramya’s, because she had a toe-length silk dress that was definitely stolen and a crystal tiara that was also definitely stolen. The two of them won the award for “costume bright enough to give me a headache”.

Everyone was accounted for, which was always a surprise. Everyone was mingling and drinking, and I felt a rush of pride for another event successfully thrown. I looked around for my date, which made my weird costume make a little more sense to the people that asked, but he was still nowhere to be seen. He had been jumping around to say hello to friends as they filed in, before disappearing to the bathroom again. As I was making my rounds around the room, I finally made it to Renee and Nat, who Tavi had ended up hanging out with. As he talked, I could see that he had those fake sharp teeth glued to his canines.

“So basically, I might’ve broken another rib, but I think it all worked out,” Tavi was explaining as I walked over. When I got close enough, he was quick to hug me and land another small peck on my cheek. “And here’s my partner in crime.” 

“So, you two are still a thing, huh?” Renee teased. I rolled my eyes.

“Uh, yes. And what about this whole matching cat act, hm?” I shot back. Renee smirked deviously before pulling in Nat for a long kiss on the lips. Nat flushed red as a tomato and Renee looked back at me with a shit-eating grin. I was happy that we were on good enough terms to joke around like this again. 

“I guess the number of single legends is in the single-digits, then,” Tavi said with a laugh. 

“What about Ramya and Loba? Because that’s terrifying,” Renee added, looking at me. 

“We might live together, but I could not tell you a single thing that goes on in her personal life, honestly,” I replied. Renee and Nat shrugged. 

Apparently, Nat had brought her cat along, who I didn’t even notice when she walked in, and my eyes almost continued to skip over him as he jumped up from her lap and curled up on the table. He was probably the calmest animal I’d ever seen. 

“Nikola is a part of the costume,” Nat explained with a smile. Tavi clicked his tongue and snapped his fingers until the cat walked across the table to be pet. I’m gonna have to sanitize these tables, I thought as I watched his white fur drop and stick to the wood.

“I’m gonna go get some punch, anybody else?” Renee asked, standing up from the table. I shook my head, finishing off my second bottle of beer for the night. 

“I’ll join you,” Nat said, standing up to follow her across the room. Renee looked over at Tavi, who was still distracted by Nikola. 

“Oh, nah. I got to run to the bathroom, actually,” Tavi said, giving the cat a few more pats before standing up. Renee and Nat didn’t think much of it, walking off after his response. It was starting to bother me. 

“You’ve been to the bathroom a lot. Is that, like, a bladder infection?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh, no…” He started, trailing off. He rubbed at his hair. “I’m uh, I’ve been trying to get sober.”

“What? What do you mean?” Tavi leaned against the back of the chair, planning to go back to petting Nikola, but the cat had already walked back over to Nat’s chair.

“Well… after that whole thing on Nat’s birthday, I thought about stopping with the drugs, at least out of the ring. And, I gotta be honest, it blows. The withdrawal makes me super nauseous,” he explained.

I wasn’t sure how to feel at first. The idea of him running off to vomit every few minutes was enough to make me upset, but I also felt a rushing wave of relief. There wasn’t a waking moment of mine that wasn’t spent worrying about the next time I’d find him unconscious on his own floor. Adoration was quick to follow. The fact that he cared about my feelings enough to do something so difficult, so important. Maybe it's just my inflated ego, but I was starting to feel like more than a boyfriend. 

“Wow, Tavi. That’s huge,” I replied. He smiled awkwardly, like he was embarrassed it had taken him this long. 

“Yeah, well. I feel a bit better. Overall, I guess,” he said quietly. He looked up with a newfound energy, a smile replacing his frown. “Che is a little jealous that you were the one to get me to stop.” 

“Yeah, I can imagine,” I agreed. 

“Well, uh, I do actually have to run to the bathroom. My head’s swimming,” he continued, bouncing off to the bathroom with a nod, his legs clicking with a familiar hydraulic sound as he walked. 

The rest of the night went just as well as I could’ve hoped. The highlight of the party was Anita slowly challenging everyone in attendance to an arm wrestling match. I can’t remember if anyone beat her, because at that point, I was getting appropriately drunk. People started to filter out after midnight, but Ajay and Tavi were the last ones left, as usual. I joined them at the bar, as Ajay was finishing up another cocktail and Tavi was nearly asleep on the counter, holding his head in his palms. 

“I told ya, O, it’s no big deal,” I heard Ajay say as I approached. I walked around the counter to the other side of the bar, giving me a better view of the two of them. 

“I don’t know. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to babysit me,” Tavi grumbled. He rubbed his eyes with his fingers. 

“Well, I told you. That’s what rehab is for. They get paid to babysit you,” she replied. 

“I’m not going to rehab,” he snapped back. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked. 

“He’s having another bad night. ‘Cuz that’s what happens when you go cold turkey, but he’s so sure about doing this thing on his own,” Ajay mumbled aggressively. 

“I just need somewhere to crash. I don’t like being alone in the apartment. I get… tempted,” Tavi continued. 

“You could always stay here, at my place. It’s not big, but it’s… a place,” I offered. Tavi looked up from his hands. 

“Are you sure? Won’t Ramya mind?” He asked. 

“Nah, nah. She’s not around much anyway, since I uh… misplaced her stuff,” I explained, deciding not to elaborate on that. Tavi looked at Ajay, who shrugged dismissively. 

“Whatever. I still think rehab’s best for ya. But what do I know?” She said sarcastically, She finished off the rest of her drink, almost shattering the glass against the counter as she placed it back down. “Call me if ya need help. I’m headin’ home. Ciao.”

Ajay stood up from the bar stool and practically stomped out of the bar. I looked over at Tavi with a sigh, and he had returned his head to his hands, scrunching his cheeks up with his fingers. I cleared my throat and gestured upstairs, giving him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. He looked up with tired eyes and a weak smile, lifting himself off of the counter. 

“Lo siento por todo esto,” he muttered.

“What’s that?” I asked, meeting him on the other side of the counter, putting an arm around the square of his back to help him get moving. 

“Nothing. Just… thanks,” he said quietly.

“Hey, it’s no problem,” I replied. I whacked his pirate cap down over his eyes with the flat of my hand. “Captain.” 

He giggled as he pushed the hat back up, shoving me slightly with his elbow. We walked up the stairs to my apartment with linked arms, recalling some of the high points of the night, even though he had missed most of them from the bathroom, and I was too drunk to really be paying attention. I was disappointed that he had missed the majority of his favorite holiday, but maybe I could find space in my heart for Halloween and enjoy it for him. I mean, it was no Christmas, but I think it’s worth the effort. For him, anything is worth the effort.


	4. Olympus (Octane POV)

I didn’t think about Psamathe very often; I simply wasn’t the type to get homesick. I moved to Solace after dropping out of school, started my whole daredevil schtick, and Olympus didn’t cross my mind after that. As far as I was concerned, that place was only going to hold me back from doing what I was meant for: the stunts, the viewers, the Games. When I was establishing my Internet presence, I used the goggles and mask to hide who I was, or namely who I was related to, practically killing the Silva heir within me. Octavio was dead, and Octane was born.

The thing about the past, family in particular, is that trying to run from it rarely does you any good. And trust me, I’d know. Running is my whole thing. When I blew my legs off, and I was sitting in that hospital room listening to the doctor list off all the things I’d have to do to recover without prosthetics, I remember thinking something in particular. How can I throw money at this to make it go away? That was something my father taught me. That instinct served as a stepping stone to getting Ajay to sneak me onto the donor list, and that instinct led me out of that place on two metal feet. 

I thought that would be it, though, that I was just treating myself to a good ol’ Silva trick. The thing is, I’m not exactly great at impulse control. What followed was the stims, the jump pads, whatever I could get my hands on to make myself faster. Faster. Faster. Oh, yeah, and the fact that the Games were on Olympus now. The one thing that I had been running from. 

The city was a ghost of the place that I had grown up in, which made me, selfishly, a little happy. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy growing up in a lavish paradise, but there were too many memories living here, for both me and Ajay. Some were good, sure, but the vast majority left a bitter taste in my mouth. I wasn’t sure where my family had ended up after the place was evacuated, but I didn’t really care. There were skeletons of Silva littered all over the place, anyway. I wouldn’t have to look hard to find them. 

The Apex organizers decided to give us an opportunity to tour the city, to take a look at what they had done with the place and get familiar with the sights. I remember looking at Ajay on the dropship as they announced this development, and though I was smiling at the ridiculousness of it, she looked like she had just seen a phantom. She started fiddling with her fingernails, her eyes blank and distracted. I wanted to hug her.

We started to partner off once we had arrived above the city, creating seven duos, with the new Legend cycling between the lot of us to get acquainted. I had already forgotten her name, but I was sure it’d come back to me eventually. I walked over to where Ajay was standing, preparing to launch out of the ship.

“So, what do you say, chica? Little walk down memory lane?” I asked. 

“I would, but I was gon’ pair up with Loba. It’s hard for her to be here, ya know? Besides, it’s a bit unfair to pair the best tour guides together, eh?” She replied, punching me lightly on the side of my shoulder. 

“Oh. I guess I’ll go find Witt, then,” I told her with a frown, though she couldn’t see it under the mask. She smiled, her face getting some color back, and walked over to the center of the dropship without giving me a second thought. I was planning on using her as an emotional buffer. 

Elliott was on the other side of the ship, apparently hassling Renee, who was holding onto Natalie’s arm like she planned to take it off. I only got the tail end of the conversation as I approached. 

“Come on, Ramya is leaving me for Crypto. Crypto!” He exclaimed. 

“Not my problem. Why don’t you go with your boyfriend?” Renee replied, gesturing towards me with her chin as I arrived next to Elliott. He didn’t realize I was there until she mentioned me, looking to his side with a start. 

“Oh, I just figured you were going with Ajay,” he explained. 

“I did too.” They looked at me for further explanation, but I just shrugged, rubbing at my hair. I was happy that my managers had found a costume for me that didn’t include a freaking cap. My hair was still gelled back beyond recognition to help with the aerodynamics, but it was still better than looking like an egg. 

“See? It all works out. Let’s go,” Renee said dryly to Nat, leading her towards the drop pods. 

“Enjoy your date!” Nat said cheerily as she walked off. 

“Well, look at that. My own personal Olympus expert,” Elliott regarded once the two had left, though we moved to follow them soon after. We were running out of time to drop, and most of the teams had already left. It was just us, Renee and Nat, Ajay and Loba, and Anita with Gibby. 

I looked out of the side of the ship, watching the Gardens pass under us with increasing speed. I supposed that then was as good a time as any. Besides, this was my favorite part, and I wasn’t going to let the city beneath us get in the way of that. I held up a pair of peace signs and fell backwards out of the drop pod, falling towards Olympus back-first. Elliott followed soon after, doing a flip as he dropped, though he lost his balance a bit as he tried to steady himself again. 

We landed near the Gardens, which was on the far-east side of the city. I had chosen that spot mostly on accident, but I realized afterwards that the place looked familiar. Ajay spent a lot of time here in particular, and had even lived here for a period of time, though the place didn’t look quite like it had back then. Everything about the Arena was slightly off, like a cheap imitation of Olympus rather than the actual place. It was prettier than I had ever remembered, with less skyscrapers and blinding neon, but more cherry blossoms and tasteful fountains. 

“Damn, this place is gorgeous. And you grew up here?” Elliott remarked, walking closer to one of the fountain ponds. 

“Si,” I said shortly. “Well, not here specifically, but...” 

As Elliott walked under the blossom trees, a few stray petals fell off the branches and landed around him. A full flower had landed on top of his head, almost perfectly nestled in his hair. He felt the weight and went to grab it out, but before he could, I jumped up and grabbed a flower of my own from the branches, placing it between my hair and the top of my goggles. He looked back at me and smiled one of his goofily large grins, deciding to leave his alone. I guess having exposed hair was more helpful than I thought. 

“So, where do you want to go?” He asked. 

“Doesn’t matter to me, I’ve seen the place already,” I replied, walking up to one of the empty garden houses. It was weird, seeing them uninhabited, but rich people didn’t really let their presence be known in their houses anyway. In some ways, the empty homes weren’t all that different from reality. 

“Well, yeah, but the place has gotta be different. Don’t you want to see your old house?” He asked. 

“En realidad, no,” I muttered, probably too low for him to hear. 

“Hm?”

“I guess, but it’s on the other side of the city,” I explained. 

“Well, we have plenty of time,” he continued with a smile. I tried to return it, but again, the mask got in the way. I couldn’t even smile with my eyes, because that would require me to actually mean it. 

I told myself to stop overreacting for a moment. I was supposed to be having a nice time with someone I care about, enjoying a new bit of scenery to share with my friends. The place really was gorgeous, and barely resembled the place I had grown up in, so why did I even care? Those memories were barely here anymore. And if they were, I’d left them behind a long time ago. Octavio didn’t exist. 

“I’ll lead the way,” I said in a falsely optimistic tone.

We had to pass through a gap in the huge mass of the phase tunnel to even get over to the other side of the city. That definitely wasn’t there when I was younger, the thing stretching from the Rift nearly to Elysium, which was coincidentally one of many places around here that I was banned from. I was breaking a lot of “for-life” suspensions just by being here again. We walked through the Energy Depot next, which I remember being built in the early days of the Hammond expansion, its slated roof reminding me of a particularly disastrous sledding attempt. 

I told Elliott stories as we walked, mostly trying to distract myself from the places we were walking through. I told him of the time Ajay and I had attached a string of firecrackers to drones, driving them into the Hammond construction sites. Then, of course, were all the stunts that had gotten me kicked out of nearly every restaurant and establishment on Olympus. Jumping into a koi pond, nearly shattering a thousand-year-old statue bust, using the modern art exhibits as skating ramps. Lots of expulsions, lots of trips to the counselor at school, lots of Ajay having to bail me out of my messes. She was rather good at that, among countless other things. Like making homemade firecrackers, for one. 

We passed a couple of the other Legends, a few of which were playing bumper-cars with the Tridents. I was going to have to try that once we were done with our adventure. Elliott seemed to really be enjoying my stories, which only made me more eager to share them. I had buried all of them into a common chest in the back of my mind, and once the thing was cracked open, it was hard to close it again. It was relieving in a way, like clearing the clutter out of the attic. 

Those positive feelings were pretty much eradicated once we got to the Autumn Estates. It was a rather exclusive gated community, lined with oak trees stuck in a perpetual state of Fall. Its cube-like houses were made almost entirely out of glass, which I always considered odd, considering the things that usually went on within them. My parents had a few homes, on a few different planets, but the house in the middle of the estate was the one where me and my siblings spent our childhood. It was the largest of the bunch, elevated above the rest, painfully representative of my dad’s ego, though he didn’t spend much time in it. 

I stopped when we arrived at the entrance, taking a look around the houses with a heavy sigh. I wondered what would happen if I just dropped a match on the whole neighborhood. 

“This the place?” Elliott asked, looking back at me once I paused. 

“Yup,” I replied softly. He took a step back, standing next to me. 

“You alright?” 

“Just peachy,” I answered sternly, taking the first few steps onto the estate, not meeting his gaze. I made a beeline for my childhood home, listening to Elliott’s soft footsteps behind me, only barely louder than my metallic ones. 

I opened the front door with a force I had never used with it, taking a look around the house, which was now littered with a few guns and other items for use in the Games. I kicked them aside, taking a look around the foyer. I was right with my original assessment: this was a city of ghosts, carrying only faint memories of the people that were once here. I walked a little closer into the kitchen, noticing that the entire house had been cleared of possessions to make room for combat. There were a few potted plants that hadn’t been there before. 

“So this is the original Casa de Octane, huh?” Elliott remarked, not really sure what to do with himself. He waited awkwardly in the doorway, listening for an invitation he wasn’t going to get. 

“Yeah…” I trailed off, looking beyond the glass walls. “I split my head open trying to ride a mattress down those stairs,” I explained, pointing to the stairs on the other side of the room. Elliott laughed at that, happy to diffuse some of the tension. He took a few further steps into the kitchen. 

“We never really used the kitchen. We had people to cook for us,” I elaborated. “All of this was for show, mostly.” 

“Then I really gotta get you to my mom’s place for some comfort food, huh?” He remarked. 

“Yeah. My parents mostly used this space to argue,” I said quietly. Elliott was forced back into silence. I felt bad for doing this in front of him, but I guess ripping off the bandage was inevitable. “There used to be a table here. Guess they cleared it out.” 

“You know, we can leave, if you want.” 

“No, no. It’s fine,” I replied. I took a breath, not sure how to place my next few words. I decided that I was mostly talking to myself, now, and not for Mirage. “There used to be a table, because I used to hide under there with Navi when things got bad.”

“Was this with your mom?” Elliott asked, I guess because he realized that he wasn’t going to be able to avoid this conversation.

“No. Wife number three, I think. She was the one that got me the rabbit. I mean, my dad argued with all of them, I guess,” I explained. Elliott nodded along. “Nikki would sit with me. Or ask me to go play in the backyard with her.”

Elliott was silent for a few moments, watching me as I trailed my fingers over the countertop in the kitchen. I could’ve sworn that I saw a few shadows patter by, phantoms of children that once lived here. I didn’t feel like crying, but maybe I should have. I felt like yelling, I felt like burning this whole city to the ground and running as far away from it as possible. I had nearly done it before, how much harder could it be? Octavio was already dead. 

“Tavi, maybe we should meet up with everyone in the ring, okay?” Elliot suggested softly. 

Tavi, huh? Elliot was one of few people that didn’t call me Octane, other than Ajay. They didn’t understand the version of me that was meant for the cameras, the one that my brain used to distract myself from reality. They called me Tavi, or O, or Silva. They saw that Octavio was still alive somewhere, and that the same scared boy from Psamathe was just covered in green spray paint and a false sense of invulnerability. They saw the boy under the table. They saw me. 

I sniffled, and nodded along to his suggestion. I didn’t want to let the floodgates open. I hadn’t cried in front of anyone since I was a boy. Perhaps that wasn’t exactly healthy, though. I felt a few stray tears drip down my face, but they were mostly caught by my goggles. The few that had broken through were seen by Elliott, who reached forward and embraced me, and I felt the whole of his arms snuff out any desire to hold back. Before I knew it, I was nearly shaking as I sobbed into his arms, but I wasn’t even upset. It was relieving, the type of relief that I had tried to find before. The type of relief that only leaving Olympus could’ve gotten me. 

Now I was back, but perhaps this time, it could feel like a proper home.


	5. First Sight

Ever since I had joined the Games, it’d always just been the eight of us, and I kind of liked it that way. It was a minimal amount of names and faces that I had to memorize, and some of them didn’t even have names other than the one they used in matches, which just made my life simpler. We weren’t necessarily close, either, which made waking up every morning to slaughter each other in cold blood much easier for the lot of us. Everything just seemed to work out. 

And then the organizers had to go add a new guy, Octane, which just threw off the balance of it all. He was nice enough, even if he was a bit weird, but something about him just stuck out to me. He apparently already knew Ajay, which added a new layer to our group dynamic. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to be friends with my coworkers, at least not at this particular job, but I wasn’t going to cross it off the list entirely, either. Octane just seemed out of my realm, anyway. He was definitely a bit younger than me, and his youth engulfed the whole of his personality. I didn’t think I could keep up with an act like that. 

He had been with us for a few games before I had ever thought to talk to him outside of a match. I had packed up for the day, and was preparing to head on home, enjoy a drink and some pork chops in my empty little apartment. Maybe I’d go to see my mom. I left the dropship with Renee, who had the misfortune to be on my team for the day. We had almost won, before the new guy had shot me off a zipline, which was a particularly inconvenient way to go.

“Ugh, I almost had that match today, too. I think I slipped on a puddle or something,” I complained, walking down the ramp of the drop ship with heavy steps. I was adjusting my clothes, making sure everything was accounted for after I changed out of my game uniform. 

“Oh, you slipped alright, like 20 meters up. You’re also terrible at reloading your gun on time,” Renee said darkly, adjusting her hair as she pulled it out of a bun. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll work on it,” I replied dismissively, continuing to rummage through my pockets. There was a noticeable emptiness in the front of my jacket. “Oh shit, I left my phone on the dropship.” 

“It should still be open,” she said, continuing to walk forward like she had no intention to wait for me. 

“Okay, I’ll see you around, I guess,” I said with a frown, turning around with a tight heel. 

I walked back over to where the dropship was still parked, tapping and humming along to a song in my head like I was the only one around. Once I walked up the ramp and took a look around the ship, I learned that I was mistaken. Octane was still sitting in his room, fiddling with something metal that was being tossed between his hands. I didn’t give him much thought at first, but then I realized something staggering. He wasn’t wearing his mask, cap, or goggles. This was the first time I was seeing his face. He looked up at me when I entered, almost embarrassed, and stood up quickly. 

His face was war torn as he looked over at me, startled, but he wore his scars in a way that seemed purposeful. There were two or three going through his right eyebrow, another on the side of his nose, and there was an entire chunk missing from the top of his left ear. He had a patchy beard at the bottom of his chin, and a few stray hairs on his upper lip, something that he’d need to shave soon. He pierced nearly every inch of his face that had the skin for it. There was one above his unscarred eyebrow, one on his septum, a few beside his mouth, and about 3 on each ear, though not all of his ear piercings had something in them. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of my own hair, but his was just… otherworldly. It fell on his forehead like a faucet of curls, bleached and still tinted green from a recent dyeing. The back and sides of his head were shaved down, but there was nothing stopping the mass of hair on the top of his head from taking up as much empty space as it could. The whole of his appearance was so unhinged, so feral and free, that I was a bit distracted from what I had gone in there for. 

“Oh, perdón,” he rambled quickly, rummaging around his computer desk for his goggles, but he couldn’t find them in time.

I was thankful for that, since his eyes stood out like beacons against the rest of his face, which was currently smeared with dirt lines from his face coverings. His eyes were a deep brown, but one of them was much lighter than the other, looking more green than anything else. As I got closer, I saw that he was fiddling with the metal bits he wore over his ears in the matches, trying to remove a smaller device from within them. 

“Oh, sorry. I just had to uh… grab something,” I stammered. 

As he rummaged for his goggles, which were apparently buried under a sea of empty energy drink cans, he knocked his ear devices off of the table, which broke apart across the floor, knocking the smaller pieces out. I reached down instinctively, our hands touching as we both grabbed for an ear piece, which caused both of us to shoot our hands back, before Octane finally picked them up. 

“Sorry, I’m usually here a bit late. I have to take the hearing aids out of the ear pieces,” he explained, shoving the smaller devices into his ears. 

“Oh, yeah. Totally fine,” I replied, watching him put them in. I leaned over, pointing at the chunk of ear that was missing. “What happened there?” 

“Apparently throwing a grenade at your legs is a bit too much for your eardrums,” he said with a laugh. Once he realized I was pointing at the bigger scar, his face straightened up, and he reached to touch it. “Oh, that’s from a stunt. I wouldn’t recommend planning a motorcycle jump through swinging blades. I did land it, though.” 

I laughed and rubbed at my hair, walking over to my section of the dropship awkwardly. I grabbed my phone off of the couch, slipping it back into my pocket, and waddled back into the center of the ship, peering back into his room. Octane had apparently given up on trying to put on his mask again, and shoved the costume ear parts into a box beside his desk. I was going to walk out of there just then, but something was tugging at my mind. I looked back at him, clicking my knuckles together anxiously. 

“I uh… I own a bar in Solace City called the Paradise Lounge,” I said. 

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard of that place. I live right by there,” he replied. 

“Yeah, and sometimes me and the other Legends hang out there after matches so, if you’re ever around, you should uh… you should sing by. Sting by. Sw- swing by,” I told him. 

“Alright. I’ll do that,” he said with a smile, a bit of pink rushing to the space below his eyes. I almost turned to leave again, before looking back. 

“What’s your name by the way? I don’t think I got it,” I asked. 

“Octavio. Some people call me Tavi, though.”

“Alright. I’ll see you around, Tavi,” I said finally, turning to walk out the dropship. “And good work with that zipline thing today.” 

I thought I heard him laugh as I walked back down the ramp, and there was a voice somewhere in my head that said, I hope I can hear that again soon.


End file.
